Weiss, What's a Blowjob?
by God Emperor Penguin
Summary: An innocent question from Jaune leads Weiss to rethink everything she knows about love, boys, and what she puts in her mouth.


**Weiss, What's a Blowjob?**

**RWBY**

_Written from the perspective of Weiss Schnee_

**Summary: **_An innocent question from Jaune leads Weiss to rethink everything she knows about love, boys, and what she puts in her mouth._

**Author's Notes:** _Closest you'll get to smut probably._

* * *

><p>It started with a question from Jaune.<p>

Honestly, I didn't know the answer. Maybe it was a working opportunity where you blew on hot porridge before you fed it to the elderly? It could be that it's a position at a carnival where you refilled the air tanks. Could it a crappy job?

"Yang told me she'd get me one…" Jaune mumbled. "Or was it give me one…?"

I don't know what it is, but I'm curious. Can't I be curious? Because I'm curious.

"I am going to find out," I said. Leaving Jaune behind, I went to the great Schnee Library tower of information and communications and databases. If the library didn't know have information on this, then the world didn't have information on this.

After passing through security checkpoints and entering into a private conference room to browse at my leisure, perks of being a Schnee, I dialed up the secretary. The usual one appeared being polite and courteous as expected. I declined to speak to my father or sister and proceeded to upload the information to the secretary.

"I need information on this," I said as the information was sent. "Very important."

The secretary smiled. "Of course Miss Schnee," she said before opening the file. Her eyes twitched as her eyes scanned the readout. She looked behind her and looked at her surroundings on her end. It was as if she was making sure nobody was around. Sighing, she took a deep breath before turning to me.

"Secretary? What's wrong?"

"Miss Schnee… are you sure you want information on this?"

I furrowed my brow in annoyance. "Is it your position to question what information I look up?"

"N-not at all Miss Schnee, i-it's just that… this… is a bit…"

"A bit what?"

The secretary leaned towards the screen and said in a hushed whisper, "forbidden."

Forbidden? Something that's _forbidden_ to a Schnee? Now I had to know.

"Open it up and send it to me," I said crossing my arms. "I expect it delivered as fast as humanly possible. I must know what this is, at any cost. I'm curious."

The secretary sighed.

"Is it okay if I just told you what it is?"

Sigh. I guess it's something that can't be held encrypted to a file. "Very well, give me a summary of what this is. I must know." Crossing my arms, I waited.

The secretary closed her eyes. She took another deep breath.

"Okay… it's okay… remember your training… you can do this…"

"Hurry it up." My patience was thinning like ice.

"So Miss Schnee… you know how men… have… they all have…"

"Have what?"

"Bananas."

Bananas? Well, I can imagine some men having bananas on them. Jaune would certainly keep some. He's a bit of a health nut and eats a nutritious set of meals every day. I doubt Ren would have one. Nora probably snatched it, trampled it, then eat it with delight while foaming in the mouth-the savage.

"I'm familiar. Very familiar. Can we move on?"

The secretary's eyes widened. "M-Miss Schnee!"

"What?"

The secretary's shock subsided. "N-Nothing. Well… so you see… when a girl loves a guy very, very much sometimes the boy will give the girl his banana… to take into her mouth"

My eye twitched.

"Sounds like low-class courtship…"

"It is Miss Schnee… it is… and it's so salty."

Wait. Bananas are salty?

"Why would it taste salty?"

The secretary's eyes widened. "We haven't gotten to that yet!"

"Oh."

The secretary coughed to clear her throat. "So you see… you have to take the banana into your mouth and not bite down on it."

"Why don't you? Wouldn't that the natural thing to do?"

"Yes, but you have to resist. So first you to need to lubricate the banana with your saliva… then you make a suctioning motion with your mouth on the banana." For something that sounds like there's a lot of blowing, it seems to involve way more sucking.

"Do boys like this…?" Why would a boy want a girl to suck on a banana? "Does it feel good?"

"It feels amazing for them," the secretary said with a blush. "The sounds they make…"

"Sounds…?"

The secretary sighed, "so basically it's just sucking a banana. More often than not, the man will take the initiative and shove the banana down your throat forcefully without any regards to your feelings… sigh… men… _those pigs_…"

I tilted my head. How are mens pigs if they're the ones feeding us bananas? Besides there were still so many unanswered questions.

"But what if the banana breaks in my mouth?"

"You have to be gentle," the secretary explained. "Your jaw will hurt and your throat will get sore and the white gooey stuff that comes out at the end will make you want to gag but…"

Wait. Why does bananas have gooey white filling?

"So… do these bananas need a coating? Like in chocolate or something?"

The secretary shook her head. "Only if you want to be safe. It'll catch any of that gooey stuff. You can even get different flavors of coverings now. Strawberry's in the rage but I'm a honey person myself."

"Ah, I see. Thank you. I'll begin experimenting immediately," I said as I begun logging.

"Alright, Have fun-wait. Wait. Wait! WAIT! YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHA-"

Nothing can stop a Schnee that's curious.

* * *

><p>"So let me get this straight," said Jaune as he paced around me on the school rooftop. "For my own personal benefit and sanity so that I didn't mishear you."<p>

"Go on."

Jaune held up a chocolate-dipped and patented Schnee Frozen Banana. "You want me to take this banana and shove it down your throat while you make suctioning motions and you don't want me to stop until I feel amazing?"

"Yes."

"Weiss this is crazy." Jaune looked at the frozen banana in his hand. "It makes absolutely no sense."

"Jaune. Shut up and unwrap your banana."

I got onto my knees and watched Jaune peel back the banana, exposing the large black crescent. My heart began to pound. This was exciting. I could feel the rough rooftop floor scratch against my knees as Jaune approached me, banana in hand.

"Just to be clear, Jaune. This is something that's only supposed to happen between lovers."

"Is it?"

"Yes, but I'm curious. I want to experience what it's like. So please, shove that banana down my throat." I placed my hands on my lap and looked up at him. "When you're ready," I said reading my mouth wide and open for Jaune's banana.

Jaune sighed.

"Well, I'm coming," he said unenthusiastically as he shoved the thick banana down my throat. He came with such force that I wasn't expected it. The banana was dry and rough and the coldness made my throat chilled and parched. It only lasted for an instant before I could feel the morning's breakfast rise from my stomach.

I gagged and Jaune pulled out.

"Why did you pull out!?" I coughed. "I was just getting ready to suck on it!"

Jaune shook his head. "You look like you were about to hurl. Maybe we should start slow?" Perhaps, Jaune was right and we needed to take this a bit more slowly. "Ready for round two?"

I nodded.

"I'll go slower this time," I said. Jaune's banana still in his hand, mine enveloped his and guided his banana closer to my mouth. "Just the tip,"I said before sticking my tongue out and licking the shaft. It tasted like chocolate and frost. It was sweet and cold.

I licked and licked. I could feel my jaw about to fall off as I continued with making sure the banana was wet enough to not scratch my throat. I opened my mouth and took the length of the banana into my mouth.

"This is kind of like brushing someone's teeth," Jaune shrugged as he held the banana in my mouth. My head was bobbing back and forth taking the length in and out. I think I was doing it right.

Before long, my jaw was too sore to continue and I withdrew.

"How was it?" I said wiping my mouth from my saliva and melted chocolate. "Did it feel amazing?"

"It felt like I was holding a banana while you sucked on it." Jaune held up the banana, the chocolate coating having been worn off from my lips and tongue. "It was alright, I guess?"

"So it wasn't amazing?" I panted. I checked my time, I was working on that banana for a whole twenty minutes. "How could it not feel amazing!?"

Jaune shrugged. "The banana doesn't have my nerves?" Before I could insult his intelligence for his response, I coughed out some saliva and chocolate as Jaune patted my back. He offered a sport drink. "Here, wash it out and clear your throat."

Jaune's considerate, I'll give him that.

Finishing a sip, I turned to him. "I can't let it end like this. I want to know it is." Looking Juane straight in the eyes, I said with conviction, "_I'm curious_!"

"I can see that…"

I'll be damned if Yang Xiao Long knows something I don't. Especially information that is forbidden even to a Schnee heiress. I must know. I simply must. "I must know…"

I looked to Jaune, the Schnee Frozen Banana was spent.

"We're all out of bananas, Weiss."

"Drats…" If only there was something other than bananas we could use… "Wait… I wonder if it has to be a banana… maybe it only has to be a symbolic banana…"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

Perhaps I was onto something. "What I'm thinking is… maybe it'll feel good for a boy if it was something long and slender _like a_ banana… and it doesn't a banana itself…"

I looked to Jaune and scanned his body.

"What like a pencil?"

"No… maybe it has to be a body part…"

"A-A b-body part? Like you're going to suck my blood? Weiss… are you a vampire?"

Oh this idiot.

"No I'm not." I eyed Jaune's body carefully. "Jaune take off your clothes."

"W-why!?"

"I need to find something on your body that's long, slender, and I can dip in hot chocolate to suck off you."

* * *

><p><em>Weiss, What's a Blowjob Fin<em>

**BONUS SCENE 1**

_Jaune can't sleep because Nora is sucking on Ren's banana._

**Ren: **Nora… please… stop that…

**Nora:** Ren it's okay! We're friends!

_Jaune throws a pillow at Ren and Nora._

**Jaune:** Nora, can you just finish sucking that stupid banana so I can go to sleep?

_Jaune rolls over in beds and tries to fall asleep._

_Nora looks at Ren._

**Nora:** What gave him the idea I was sucking on a banana?

_Nora holds up Ren's Popsicle._

**BONUS SCENE 1 END**

* * *

><p><strong>BONUS SCENE 2<strong>

_Pyrrha approaches Jaune after class, hands behind her back._

**Pyrrha: **J-Jaune! Th-there's something I want to ask you…

**Jaune:** What is it, Pyrrha?

_Pyrrha looks downcast and struggles to find words. Jaune places a hand on Pyrrha's shoulder._

**Jaune: **Pyrrha… you know you can tell me anything. What's on your mind?

_Pyrrha reveals what's behind her hand._

_It's a Goddess of Victory brand frozen banana._

**Pyrrha:** I-I saw you letting Weiss suck on your banana! S-so I made some calls… and I'm sponsoring a new company now so… so…

_Pyrrha's head tilts progressively lower before her faces shoots back up and she exclaims._

**Pyrrha:** Please let me suck your banana too!

**BONUS SCENE 2 END**


End file.
